Monday, May 24, 2010

The 5 and Dime - BBQ


I believe my husband concocted The Atkins Diet but if I am incorrect, I am here to testify that he certainly espouses the idea. Several weeks ago he decided to have a backyard bbq cookout and he invited a few friends and family. The number of eaters attending was never deemed an important issue but Steve calculated somewhere between 20-30 people. That sounded totally reasonable since that was the approximate size of the group last year.

At this point I must make it perfectly clear that the group was not comprised of all males but rather more females and no where in the crowd was there even one Washington
Redskin "hog". That said, when his bbq crew ( see picture and please note the size of the grill) arrived to begin cooking this is how they must have reconciled the question, "How much meat should we buy?"

Barb: "Steve, I am at Costco to buy the ribs but how many do you think we need. They weigh about 8 pounds per pack. Two packs?"
Steve: "No, I don't think that will be enough."

Barb: "OK, well how about 3?"

Steve: "You know everyone loves the ribs so maybe we should get more of them."

Barb: "But I thought you said we were only expecting 20-30 people."

Steve: "That is probably right but you never know so maybe we should pick up 6 packs."

Barb, who is now quietly wondering if he has lost his mind replies: "Whatever you say boss."

Now Blake, bless his little heart, goes along with the grill sergeant (see picture - Steve) not because he is the boss but only because Blake is also a M-A-N and meat
and men go together like a horse and buggy. If the truth be known, Steve and Blake had probably said to one another earlier, "Well, we might as well load up this lil pup (grill) with all the meat it will hold cuz everyone loves meat."

It seems to me that a man's governing action when bbqing (is that a real word?) is meat for everyone and lets us just disregard the other food groups because Mr. Atkins said so. Now don't misinterpret what I am stating, by no means am I a vegetarian, I love meat just like the next guy.

The bbq was a tremendous success, the meat melted in your mouth and was succulent and spicy. Perhaps one of the best meals I have had.

By nightfall when calm was restored and we reflected on the evening we arrived at these stats from the event. Seventy-two pounds of ribs, chicken and pork butt to feed twenty-two people. Yep, you read it correctly. I think if you do the math that comes to approximately 3.272727 pounds of meat per person. That sounds reasonable don't you think?

Mr. Atkins, Steve did you proud and I think you should honor him in your next diet cookbook. You can reach him, along with his pit crew at 540-746-.........


  1. like father, like son-in-law- Benny's motto: "Fleisch ist mein Gemüse" (meat is my vegetable)

  2. oh and forgot 2 things: 1. what a handsome grill sergeant in the pic! 2. pops is no follower of the atkins theory. he also loves potatoes, sugar puffs, tuna subs and krispy kreams!